Fashion Friday: 21 August 2015

fashion fridayWell here we are. My first “Fashion Friday” post. Y’all, I’m terrified. I seem to be fine taking pictures or food, yarn, and books, but for some reason taking a picture of my clothing seems… shallow? Trite? Narcissistic? But why? I like looking at outfit photos from others. Is it because I don’t feel good enough? Yup. That’s it. Like someone is going to look at my pictures and say “for fuck’s sake who does she think she is?” My body is too fat and my picture taking skills are nonexistent. What do I think I’m doing? It is just a picture of me. Just me. Not hamming it up. Not with my husband, kids, or friends. Not showing off books or thrifted items. Just me. My body. In clothes I like. For all my feminist killjoy “eff you” attitude, for some reason it is still important for people to like and think well of me. I’m hoping that taking a little pride in myself and taking these pictures with increase my self esteem or at least make me more at ease with my body.

I felt so weird taking this picture. My friend at work, Kim- a fellow ModCloth enthusiast, took the picture on my phone. I didn’t know how to stand or angle myself or get the best light. I felt weird, but I’m going to get over that.

Before I get to the picture, let me say that I am mad as hell. All my doctor’s test came back and I am healthy. Like, really healthy. So healthy that even though I weigh 315 pounds I don’t qualify for weight loss surgery. I’m pissed because before they even ran my tests they were all shaking their heads at me and talking about my fat body. This isn’t the first time. Each doctor’s visit. Each pregnancy. Fat Fat Fat… OMG you’re healthy how is that possible?! Sure I need to eat healthy and exercise, but even doing that I may always be bigger and plenty of skinny people are unhealthy. They just get the dignity of being treated like a human with intrinsic value. The thin are “innocence until proven guilty in a court of health.” Me? I walk in and I’m immediately assumed to be a lazy slob living off French fries. fuck that.

Now that I have my fat feminist self in a roar I have the gumption to share with more than Facebook and Instagram friends.

skirtandtypewriterI call this look, “nerdy library chic.” It is pretty much my only look. LOL.

Date: Tuesday, 19 August 2015

Items: sweater – JcPenney / t-shirt – ModCloth / skirt – Old Navy / shoes – Dress-Up

Next time I’ll try to get better lighting and touch-up my make-up.

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8 comments

  1. Let me tell you what I especially like about your photo. You look like a real person. I follow “eff your beauty standards” on instagram, and the majority of reblogged photos include people who, while not the typical beauty size, are posing with traditional beauty makeup, poses, etc. It is still imposing a specific beauty standard, even if at a different size. You, however, are real. Real clothes, real body, real makeup, real posture. It’s natural to look uncomfortable as someone is taking a picture of you-just-you. πŸ™‚ I love this look (both you, and the clothes – esp that tee!)

  2. Gorgeous! I’m listening to you and preaching to myself about being more at ease with myself. I’ve got a daughter who wants to be a photographer and I’m trying to quit putting my hand up to her camera.

  3. I love this post. Good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone. I have been debating about doing more fashion posts, as well. Way to go! Also, love this outfit. That T-shirt is giving me life! ❀

  4. Girl, you are damn cute. And I weight around 165 and have high cholesterol. I was so pissed! I need to eat better and exercise too. Maybe we should start a club.

  5. I really love your style! I’m always afraid to wear bright orange–which is silly, I know. I just tend towards the cool end of the spectrum. To agree with the other Amanda up above–you look real, in your environment which totally makes the outfit rock all the more!

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