An Update on “A Letter to Local Media”

Sunday was a productive day for me. I spent the afternoon in a coffee shop writing. I wrote in my journal, composed several blog posts, and then dashed of an email to a local news organization over a troubling news article. Whew boy did my blogging of the email produce so much havoc. I need a time turner so I can go back in time, give less fucks, and have my peacefulness restored. You can read my email published on Fig and Thistle here. I’ve not deleted comments, so you can see how things… got intense.

Here’s what those of you not friends with me on Facebook didn’t see. Come to find out the reporter is young and fresh out of college. Those comments on my original post are from her boyfriend. To make matters worse we are both alumna from the same university and have mutual acquaintances and friends. Messy indeed.

After the 4Chan threat I did call the police. My mama bear side was worried that this young man, in anger, would release information about me to the glee of misogynistic trolls. Ain’t nobody got time for that. The police officer was nice, but wholly uneducated about internet harassment. Lucky for me I have smart, savvy, knowledgeable friends. I at least knew how to document everything in case I did need a restraining order (keep in mind, dude buddy is local).

I contacted the news establishment twice after the original email. They responded to my first email with a “thank-you-we-value-your-opinion-really-not-really” response. When I contacted them the second time and emphasized the harassment I was receiving I got a much better response. The head of the newsroom read my blog post, all of the comments, and said they were completely restructuring how they reported on interviews.

I am no longer being harassed and I managed to make myself heard.

I’m also fucking exhausted. This “incident” occurred about a week after I had some things to say about sexist jokes from the pulpit of a church I was attending. There was some fallout. I had my ass handed to me by some lovely “church members” and a long – very nice – email from my preacher that I emphatically disagree with pretty much 100%. The week before a homeless, mentally ill woman was being mocked by some young men and yours truly had to call the cops – who did NOTHING – and intervene.

Why is social justice and free speech and equality just a big deal. If racism, sexism, homophobia, income equality, poverty, hate, greed, etc… do not exist, PLEASE TELL ME WHY PEOPLE FREAK THE FUCK OUT WHEN I POINT OUT THINGS.

This is just to say that:


cannotevengiphyNO MORE BULLSHIT




FUCK ITFINGERI’m tired. I’m spent.

I’m taking a social justice warrior break. I’m going to lounge in oblivion and write about novels, my kids,and yarn. Back to pictures of coffee cups, muffin recipes, and ridiculous selfies. All of those drafts of mini-essays on feminism, equality, etc.. never going to see the light of day.

Am I a coward? Nope. I figure the best way I can pursue activism is I am going to raise the hell out of my kids. My three kids are going to grow up appreciating equality; that’s right. I have your quiverfull right here… quiverfull of big-hearted-empowered-liberal-kiddos. Writing letters to dunderheads isn’t working and it is increasing my anxiety. Loving my kiddos and showing them that drinking the haterade isn’t cool? I’m down with that.





  1. I want so much to say something witty about all of this. All I am coming up with is…. Damn, this sucks and I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.

  2. The fact that you were dealt a bucketful o’hate by pointing out other people’s hate-fueled actions is what is wrong with this world. When did it become impossible to debate ideas without degenerating into threats and other invectives? More importantly, when did threatening people become the de rigueur response for any type of comment or observation? I don’t blame you at all for retreating and focusing on your children. Maybe they can help more than we will ever be able to do so.

  3. Maybe the world will be more receptive when we send out our social justice, equality loving children into it…that is my prayer. Good for you for retreating from the battle for now. Even soldiers get to take furloughs….you deserve a break too. Not that raising awesome kiddos is a break….but…. 😉

  4. I’ve been out of town the past couple of days and have missed a lot. So sorry you had to deal with all that and my immediate response was to all the fear involved when it turned on you. Scary! I do have to say KUDOS to you for trying to help, but bigger kudos for being more determined than ever to train your kids to not be haters. I think that is one of the biggest places we can make a difference. Yes, it takes a little longer, but it is a more permanent change for the better. Call me crazy, but I consider it a victory when my kids are telling me about someone new they’ve met/befriended and I don’t know what “color” that person is until I meet them…because it doesn’t come up. Hope you have a restful weekend!

    1. Hello Dean. See here is the thing. This is MY blog. MY space. MY house. I never go onto another person’s blog and swear at them. Also, if you had one iota of intelligence, you could comprehend that I am swearing in the abstract. Fuck bullshit and what not. I’m not directing it angrily at one person. I’m not running someone’s career because I’m a snot nosed 20-something boyfriend of a reporter. I’m an individual citizen who makes zero money from my blog and I will write what I want. #Murica. As such I feel no problem with telling you to FUCK OFF.

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