Food Friday: Am I Hungry? and Getting Ready for Spring

This Week in Mindful Eating

Last week I admitted that disordered eating had reared its ugly head again and I decided to actively and relentlessly give up dieting and fat-shaming myself and work to be healthy in mind and body. I weighed myself for the last time and confirmed that since I began actively dieting in October of 2014 I have gained nineteen pounds. The cycle of obsessing over food, restricting food and then going binge crazy took a toll. I no longer own a scale and I’m already incorporating some of the coping mechanisms I learned ages ago to get things in check.

First of all I think I’ve found a therapist. She doesn’t take my insurance, so that’s a hurdle to get through, but I think she may be the right one. She is a board member for the domestic violence shelter and specializes in counseling women with anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, and self-harm. I’m calling next week to at least get a consultation. I’ve also ordered a book and work-book targeted towards folks with binge-eating disorders and it should be delivered tomorrow. I’ll let you know how it looks once it arrives.

The main thing I’ve been focusing on is asking myself, “am I hungry?” before I eat. Sometimes the answer is “yes” and sometimes it is “no”. If the answer is no then I follow up with “why am I eating?” and decide what to do. I may still eat, but I try to identify why. Here are a few of my victories:

  • after a stressful day of work Tuesday I had some time to kill before picking up Sam and the kids. I thought I wanted fast food, but I wasn’t hungry. I decided to make an extra cup of coffee and read instead.
  • We had pasta for dinner one night. It was delicious. I wanted seconds, but I wasn’t hungry. I had seconds, but only about a 1/3 of a cup of pasta because I just wanted it for the delicious factor.
  • I didn’t eat breadsticks from my favorite pizza place because I wasn’t hungry.
  • At Walgreen’s I noticed Andes Mints on sale four for $1. I picked up four and then I put three back. I wasn’t hungry, I only wanted it for taste and a little bit would suffice.
  • For some reason I’ve been getting the “biggest” food when I go out: a foot-long sub, a large fry, the bigger ice cream cone. I broke that habit this week. I had my free Dairy Queen cone on Monday and I didn’t buy a second one because the first was free. I had a six inch sub. I passed up hash browns I really didn’t want. My cafe au lait was medium instead of large.
  • I only ate food I liked. In the past I would binge on stuff I don’t even like. I was eating just for the sake of eating. I’ve been much better about saying no to foods I don’t want and finding something to do besides eat.

This was a good week for me, but I need to keep it up. I’m hoping when my book gets here I will have more ideas for ways to slice through the binging!

Meals:

I’ve started switching out my meal plan system for the spring and summer months. I don’t enjoy cooking so much in the summer months and soups, stews, and oven casseroles are out. I like quick, light fare for the sunny months. I didn’t get a chance to work on my meal plan too much, but I did start create a general meal plan for the week:

Sunday:  veggie burgers (black bean, portobello, sweet potato, etc…)

Monday: grains — this could be a stir-fry, risotto or a pilaf.

Tuesday: nachos, quesadillas or tacos

Wednesday: pasta

Thursday: salad night

Friday: sandwich night — grilled cheese, egg salad, chickpea salad, or old-fashioned PB&J

Saturday: alternates between pizza night or a veggie plate. Veggie plates usually consist of beans or tofu and then a whole lotta veggie sides. Or sometimes it will be stuffed peppers or potatoes

I’ll be spending a lot of time making up some meal cards and searching for new recipes. If you have a vegetarian recipe you think I’ll like, send it my way!

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7 comments

  1. I have a super-easy tomato soup recipe: you saute onion and garlic, add canned tomato, season to taste (basil, oregano, etc), and then add some bread to thicken it. Put it all in the blender, and you have creamless creamy tomato soup. It tastes great with grilled cheese, and my kids like it, too. I know you said soups are out for the summer months, but this one takes about 20 min. to make, so maybe you feel like trying it out.

  2. Yes, yes, yes! We’re getting back onto the real food bandwagon after some…slippage. It makes eating healthy so much easier when there’s less crap in the house, and thus there’s less to feel guilty about/obsess over. Taking a thoughtful approach to eating is SO great, even though it can be a bitch sometimes.

  3. We, too, are having to get back to our healthy eating. The whole house (except for myself) were slammed with a horrible cold/flu bug this last week. I’m not sure how I avoided it, but I’m convinced it might not have been so bad if we hadn’t been binging on sweets/junk during spring break the week before. This post made me think once again, “when I grow up, I want to be as organized as Amanda!” Never mind that I’m pushing 50! 😉 Seriously, menu planning has been an ever present struggle for me through the years. I love the way you’ve simplified it by giving each night a “genre.” I’m going forth to copy your idea.

    I don’t have recipes to hand, but one of my dds makes us “quinoa bowls.” You probably already have something like it – it is essentially quinoa, black beans, and corn with spices added to each. Served with a little bit of sour cream and maybe grated cheese on top. It gives us a little tex-mex flavor without the meat.

  4. I’m struggling with binging as well so I’m interested in hearing about that book. I was doing really well until a couple days ago, when I pushed myself to do 5-6 hours of studying per day and didn’t let myself rest. Then I just ended up throwing my hands up and eating a lot of junk food.

  5. Rock On! Congrats on giving up the dieting and starting to just watch your habits and types of food! I’ve always felt that dieting caused me to gain weight and crave more food (therefore eat more “forbidden” food). I think its awesome that you share your past so openly and would never consider you a dark person. (This comment is kinda combining a few of your posts that I’ve recently read) I really admire all that you do and everything that you fit into a day. Phew it makes me tired thinking about it. Time to work on my Bloggiesta stuff 🙂

  6. I have been doing the same thing lately. Often we just think we are hungry but are really thirsty or just tempted – such as passing a fast food restaurant and feeling compelled to stop. Now I honestly answer if I am hungry and it has been a success. I have lost two pounds in the last two weeks.

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