This Week in Mindful Eating
Last week I admitted that disordered eating had reared its ugly head again and I decided to actively and relentlessly give up dieting and fat-shaming myself and work to be healthy in mind and body. I weighed myself for the last time and confirmed that since I began actively dieting in October of 2014 I have gained nineteen pounds. The cycle of obsessing over food, restricting food and then going binge crazy took a toll. I no longer own a scale and I’m already incorporating some of the coping mechanisms I learned ages ago to get things in check.
First of all I think I’ve found a therapist. She doesn’t take my insurance, so that’s a hurdle to get through, but I think she may be the right one. She is a board member for the domestic violence shelter and specializes in counseling women with anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, and self-harm. I’m calling next week to at least get a consultation. I’ve also ordered a book and work-book targeted towards folks with binge-eating disorders and it should be delivered tomorrow. I’ll let you know how it looks once it arrives.
The main thing I’ve been focusing on is asking myself, “am I hungry?” before I eat. Sometimes the answer is “yes” and sometimes it is “no”. If the answer is no then I follow up with “why am I eating?” and decide what to do. I may still eat, but I try to identify why. Here are a few of my victories:
- after a stressful day of work Tuesday I had some time to kill before picking up Sam and the kids. I thought I wanted fast food, but I wasn’t hungry. I decided to make an extra cup of coffee and read instead.
- We had pasta for dinner one night. It was delicious. I wanted seconds, but I wasn’t hungry. I had seconds, but only about a 1/3 of a cup of pasta because I just wanted it for the delicious factor.
- I didn’t eat breadsticks from my favorite pizza place because I wasn’t hungry.
- At Walgreen’s I noticed Andes Mints on sale four for $1. I picked up four and then I put three back. I wasn’t hungry, I only wanted it for taste and a little bit would suffice.
- For some reason I’ve been getting the “biggest” food when I go out: a foot-long sub, a large fry, the bigger ice cream cone. I broke that habit this week. I had my free Dairy Queen cone on Monday and I didn’t buy a second one because the first was free. I had a six inch sub. I passed up hash browns I really didn’t want. My cafe au lait was medium instead of large.
- I only ate food I liked. In the past I would binge on stuff I don’t even like. I was eating just for the sake of eating. I’ve been much better about saying no to foods I don’t want and finding something to do besides eat.
This was a good week for me, but I need to keep it up. I’m hoping when my book gets here I will have more ideas for ways to slice through the binging!
I’ve started switching out my meal plan system for the spring and summer months. I don’t enjoy cooking so much in the summer months and soups, stews, and oven casseroles are out. I like quick, light fare for the sunny months. I didn’t get a chance to work on my meal plan too much, but I did start create a general meal plan for the week:
Sunday: veggie burgers (black bean, portobello, sweet potato, etc…)
Monday: grains — this could be a stir-fry, risotto or a pilaf.
Tuesday: nachos, quesadillas or tacos
Thursday: salad night
Friday: sandwich night — grilled cheese, egg salad, chickpea salad, or old-fashioned PB&J
Saturday: alternates between pizza night or a veggie plate. Veggie plates usually consist of beans or tofu and then a whole lotta veggie sides. Or sometimes it will be stuffed peppers or potatoes
I’ll be spending a lot of time making up some meal cards and searching for new recipes. If you have a vegetarian recipe you think I’ll like, send it my way!