Back in my earlier days of motherhood I thought parenting would be easier once Hope got older. I wasn’t delusional enough to think it would be a piece of cake, but I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about Hope being hurt. No more bashing heads into doorknobs, grabbing hot pans, jumping off a bed and onto a pile of Legos, and the myriad of other ways Hope managed to injure herself. I knew parenting an older daughter would involve emotions and hormones, but I thought the physical hurting would be minimized.
Of course this proves how clueless I am. When Hope was little I could read her a story or cuddle with her or tickle her belly and all the hurts would disappear. Tonight Hope was hurting intensely.
—-She is allergic to corn and was in tears that she was going to be parted from “dear, sweet popcorn”, Annabelle was bullying her for cash or Hope would be mass teased by the fourth grade, her eczema was inflamed and painful, her jeans are stupid, no one plays with her on the playground and instead she walks alone in a circle “to at least get some exercise”, it was raining, she misses her Grandma, the remainder of her Halloween candy sucks, Daddy was sleeping all evening from working all night, the cat ignored her and wouldn’t play, Mom was 15 minutes late home from work and Hope had to hold her pee in. A bad horrible stupid day—-
Hope was curled up in my lap, sobbing, telling me all of these things, and subtly wiping her nose on my shirt. Of course there are things I can do to help her: call the teacher, make non-corn food, show-up on time, wake Sam up, take her to Grandma’s, etc… but these are temporary fixes. I can’t make it all better and all go away. Yes, we all have days that suck. It happens and all these hurts are ones I can’t fix.
This is way harder than having a toddler.